Reflections on My PhD Journey (Part Three) Spiritual Warfare

By: Brian Chilton, PhD | November 20, 2022

Spiritual warfare is a reality. Michael Heiser wrote of his thrill of “rediscovering the supernatural worldview of the Bible.”[1] He came to the understanding that the Bible is thoroughly entrenched with a spiritual perspective. That is, the Bible teaches that the supernatural world is all around us. The spiritual world interacts with the physical, just as the physical can interact with the spiritual.

The spiritual/physical interaction can be viewed in Paul’s admonishment to the Ephesians. He advises them to put “on the full armor of God so that you can stand against the schemes of the devil” (Eph. 6:11).[2] He goes on to say that “our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers of this darkness, against evil, spiritual forces in the heavens” (Eph. 6:12). When a person engages in a major task for the glory and honor of God, like a PhD program, then one should anticipate major resistance by the enemy.

Even though I have been a Christian for nearly 40 years, I was surprised by the level of spiritual attacks that came, especially as the end of the program drew near. To be honest, I was unprepared for the spiritual warfare that commenced. I want to share three ways that I felt the full brunt of the spiritual conflict with the enemy. My hope is in my final reflection on my PhD journey that you will be better prepared for any spiritual opposition that may come your way if you were to enter a doctoral program or were to participate in any major venture for Christ.

Reflections on My Spiritual Warfare with Anxiety

In previous articles, I have shared my bouts with anxiety from time to time. The enemies of darkness know your weaknesses. So, it should be no surprise that my anxiety became a major factor in my spiritual battles. When I began, I did not think that I would be able to finish the classes. After finishing the classes, I did not know if I would ever finish the dissertation. But the most difficult part of the entire program was waiting to defend. My mind often played tricks on me as I asked—“Will the team pass me?” “Will I be able to answer their questions?” and “What if I fail?” Far and away, the concluding moments of the dissertation—and perhaps the dissertation process itself—were the most challenging part of the program, because this was the point I faced the greatest degree of spiritual attacks.

Along the way, God encouraged me through my dissertation chair—Dr. Leo Percer—and friends and family. Others who preceded me gave me advice on what to expect in the defense. This proved extremely valuable. Let it be said: Once I successfully defended, I felt a flood of spiritual joy that refreshed my parched, arid soul.

Reflections on My Spiritual Warfare with Doubt

Coinciding with my bouts of anxiety, I also dealt with times of spiritual doubt. No, this kind of doubt was not the same as I experienced when I doubted my faith. By the grace of God, I have not suffered that kind of doubt since God restored me in 2005. Nonetheless, I faced doubts as to whether I had even made the right decision in going for a doctorate. It was during this time that I heard about scandals that arose at my educational institution, even as I began my dissertation. Furthermore, I questioned whether there would be jobs available once I finished. Will I ever be able to teach? That is something I still struggle with, even post-PhD.

Even though I faced times of discouragement and doubt, God continued to move in and through my being and provided individuals who encouraged me along the way. After my dissertation was complete, I awaited with great anticipation to hear from my committee that I was ready to defend. I was at Atrium Health Wake Forest Baptist Medical Center when I received word that I was ready to defend that week. I had been waiting to shadow a hospital chaplain named Dr. Reggie—a Liberty grad himself.

When he stepped out of his office, my eyes were moist and swelling up with tears. Reggie looked at me and said, “Brian, are you okay?” I replied, “Reggie, Reggie, Reggie. I just received word that I am ready to defend my dissertation this Friday!” We rushed over to tell Dr. Roz, one of the CPE educators. She congratulated me and asked, “Are you ready?” I said, “I hope so.” She smiled and said, “Well you better make sure before Friday.” We all shared a laugh, and I assured her that I was indeed ready.

Reggie, Roz, and another chaplain named Maria all congratulated me and cheered me on the task ahead. The timing was impeccable because I needed to hear their words of encouragement. They understood my stress, as they had gone through their own doctoral defenses. Never discount or underestimate the impact that an encouraging word can have on a person going through stressful times. Your words may empower a person in ways that you never thought possible.

Reflections on My Spiritual Warfare with Opposition

The amount of opposition I faced along the way stemmed from the dark spiritual domain. One could argue that things come up all the time. That doesn’t make it a spiritual conflict. True. Most assuredly, I am not a person who looks for demons at every corner. However, when events are chained together consistently, then one must think that something deeper lurks behind them. As mentioned earlier, the spiritual dimension interacts with the physical, and the physical dimension interacts with the spiritual.

Throughout the program, I faced critics, bullies, and those who tried everything in their power to get me to quit. I had to switch jobs twice, and my wife had to switch jobs three times. These stressors increased in intensity the closer I got to the end of the program. Additionally, we sold a house, moved into a parsonage, built a house, and moved into our newly built home. The building project stretched me thin and did not always allow me time to study as I should have. All of this occurred while I was in the program!

Furthermore, I was so discouraged that I thought that I would never pastor again—a concept that the Lord is causing me to now rethink. I cannot even speak of the number of resumes I sent out during this time. Through it all, God placed me where God needed me most. He placed me in a role as a chaplain and provided plenty of experiences that I would not have had otherwise. But even then, the training I endured to become a chaplain was pretty intense in itself. Thinking back, I am overwhelmed by how God brought us through the difficulties we faced. God taught me just how faithful he is to help us in our time of need. When God is on your side, he can level mountains and places a hedge of protection around you to guide you through even the toughest of circumstances.

Conclusion—The Victory is Worth the Battle

Spiritual warfare is real. So, if you do something for the Lord or are called to an important task, be prepared for the enemy to strike. However, don’t allow spiritual conflict to keep you from accomplishing what the Lord has called you to do. There are a few things that helped me even in the most difficult times of spiritual combat.

Maintain a strong relationship with God through prayer. I cannot overemphasize the importance of daily prayer. Prayer is your daily lifeline. Without it, you are powerless against the enemy. Even if your prayer is only a few sentences, stay close to God and rely on his strength.
Schedule times for consistent, continual devotions. Spending time in the Word is critical. God reveals certain truths in times of spiritual conflict that do not appear to have the same impact as in times of peace.
Take time to enjoy life. The saying is true which says, “All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.” Whether it is exercise, painting, or reading something that is non-school related, take time to enjoy life. The world does not stop just because you are in a PhD program. So, go out and make time to enjoy the things you love and hold important.
Establish good friendships with others going through the program. One of the greatest benefits of the PhD program was getting to befriend some of the kindest, most intelligent, and strongest believers I have ever met. Many of my colleagues joined the Bellator Christi team. People like Michelle Johnson, TJ Gentry, Jerry Bogacz, Sherene Khouri, Deanna Huff, and Scott Reynolds along with the professors and other cohorts have made a positive and indelible impact on my life. I am a much better person for having met them and professors like Dr. Leo Percer, Dr. Chad Thornhill, Dr. Ronnie Campbell, Dr. Gary Habermas, Dr. Gary Yates, Dr. Daniel Mitchell, Dr. Randall Price, the late Dr. Ed Hindson, Dr. C. Fred Smith, Dr. Kevin King, Dr. John Morrison, Dr. Ken Cleaver, Dr. David Baggett, and multiple others that could be listed. I am truly blessed for having met them in person. When times are tough, reach out to your professors and colleagues. My experience is that they are more than willing to help you in any way that they can.
Don’t neglect corporate worship. It is indeed more difficult to find good churches than it has been in the past. But that does not mean that one should stop looking. We found a church where we feel like we belong. If you are going through times of difficulty, you need other believers who can pray with you and help you along your journey.
If your anxiety becomes too intense, seek professional help. If your anxiety is not cured by prayer and meditation, reach out to your physician for help. There is no shame in asking for help if you need it. Read JP Moreland’s book Finding Quiet for more details on finding help with anxiety.
Do something to make progress on your studies and/or dissertation each day. Especially when you reach the dissertation, don’t procrastinate. Do something each day to make progress on your work, even if you only type a few paragraphs. I spent the weekends churning out the biggest part of the dissertation, but I used around 15-30 minutes of the weekdays to do something to make some kind of progress. This practice worked well for me.
Remember your calling. In the first entry, I mentioned the importance of one’s calling. Keep your calling in mind when things start getting tough.
Recognize that the end will come sooner than you realize. Your time in the program will not last forever. The end will come sooner than you think. Keep pressing onward, and you will eventually cross the finish line.
Acknowledge that the victory is worth the battle. Now that I have finished the PhD, I can attest that the victory is worth the battle. After my committee announced that I had successfully defended my dissertation, I felt a tremendous sense of release. A flood of emotions came over me as I realized that the program was finally finished. As previously noted, I felt as if a refreshing flood of water engulfed my dry, arid soul when I was told that I had successfully defended my dissertation. My wife took me out to lunch afterward, and I could not fathom that the program was over. A couple of weeks later, my degree came in the mail and is now hanging in my office. The degree solidified that the journey had come to an end. But I still anticipate the final piece of the puzzle. The final piece will come as I proudly stand with other colleagues as we cross the graduation stage in our doctoral caps and gowns. Yes, friends. The victory is worth the battle, so keep pressing on. God proves himself fully capable of defending us, guiding us, and spiritually protecting us.

Perhaps, our experience is the greatest teacher of all. I am in awe of how God has helped me and my family to reach the point we have in the past five years. I learned a lot in the program. But I think the greatest lesson of all was not found in a textbook, a PowerPoint, or even in the classroom. The greatest lesson was learning of God’s faithfulness and guidance. That lesson is one that I will never forget. I hope these reflections have proven beneficial to you. Just know that God will bring you through whatever he calls you to do.

Blessings and peace,

Dr. Brian Chilton

Previous Entries of This Series

Reflections on My PhD Journey (Part One): The Calling

Reflections on My PhD Journey (Part Two)–Spiritual Lessons Learned Through the Program

About the Author

Brian G. Chilton earned a Ph.D. in the Theology and Apologetics program at Liberty University. He is the host of The Bellator Christi Podcast and the founder of Bellator Christi. Brian received his Master of Divinity in Theology from Liberty University (with high distinction); his Bachelor of Science in Religious Studies and Philosophy from Gardner-Webb University (with honors); earned a Certificate in Christian Apologetics from Biola University, and plans to purse philosophical studies in the near future. He is also enrolled in Clinical Pastoral Education to better learn how to empower those around him. Brian is a member of the Evangelical Theological Society and the Evangelical Philosophical Society.

Brian has served in pastoral ministry for nearly 20 years and currently serves as a clinical hospice chaplain and interim pastoral work. Additionally, he serves as an editor for the Eleutheria Journal. At the prompting of the Lord, Brian established Bellator Christi Ministries in 2012. The ministry is aimed to provide readily available resources in theology, apologetics, biblical studies, and philosophy to those who want to know what Christianity teaches and why it should be believed. In 2019, Brian published his first book entitled the Layman’s Manual on Christian Apologetics. After finishing his Ph.D., Brian intends to publish more books. His areas of expertise include early Christology, early NT creeds, near-death experiences, biblical reliability, the blend of divine sovereignty and human freedom, and the need for empathy.

https://www.amazon.com/Laymans-Manual-Christian-Apologetics-Essentials/dp/1532697104